I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
