Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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