Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
