Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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