Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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