what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize