In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
