I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
