Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
