Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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