He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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