We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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