Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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