Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
