peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
