OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
