the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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