bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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