I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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