mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
