just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
