Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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