it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
