He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
