Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize