Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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