Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
