Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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