Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
