it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I skipped work to stalk him.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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