Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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