the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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