it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
