i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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