Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
