Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
