you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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