So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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