She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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