THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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