we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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