at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
