Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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