Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
