Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
