oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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