Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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