Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
