i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
