the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
