His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just found puke in my bra..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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