From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
