i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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