I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
