i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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