a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
