Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
