Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
