My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
