I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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