am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize